I have ONE option for high-speed residential service, Time Warner.

It’s $78 for 300Mbps, which is good.  But stick to consumption-only, you sad lonely couch potato.

If you want a static IP so you can actually PARTICIPATE in the internet, you’ll have to pay for “Business Class”, which is $129 for 15 up 2 down Mbps.  Yes, THIRTY THREE POINT OH EIGHT times more expensive.

(300Mbps / $78) / (15Mbps / $129) = 33.08

Here’s the email I sent back to the sales rep (who was a total sweetheart, by the way – she was not the problem):

Thank you so much Kathleen for setting this up.  I realize this is a full service contract, but as I mentioned on the phone, all I need in addition to my great residential service is a single static IP address.  I just can’t justify the cost.  I can set up a server with a static IP on Amazon’s AWS for one hundredth the cost.  Do you see the price structure changing any time soon?

I blame you the voter, for voting for ass-kissing politicians, who allow companies like Time Warner to pass their own legislation crushing community broadband effort.  P0wn3d!  😛