January 20, 2007
Today can be described the way Ms. Debbie describes one of the horses that the girls ride. Ms. Debbie says Brandie is the best horse she has (especially gentle and well-behaved with kids taking lessons), and the worst (she bites). My day was fantastic, watching the girls in another horse show. They are wonderful to watch, taking charge of animals more than ten times their size. The bite: my shoulder pain is intolerable. I hate to write about my negative experiences, but I guess I need to. Pain is so transient and we’re capable of tolerating a lot of it. If I can remember that, I can make it through. And I get closer every day.
To alleviate the pain, I am on as-constant-as-practical schedule of pain-killers and heating pad. The Ibuprofen takes a little of the edge off, but causes nonstop nosebleeds. Since I am constantly blowing goo out of my throat and lungs, it makes for a mess. But once the Ibuprofen wears off, the nosebleeds stop, so at any given time, I get an edge off the pain, or a blood-free nose, what a deal! :>
It’s also quite true that pain is a mental beast. If you can zen out, relax, keep it in its box, I’ve found that you can actually sleep through a certain amount of it. Unfortunately, it has a real impact on my ability to exercise, and my mental attitude toward others and the daily grind of life (which I have temporarily left completely in the hands of poor Andrea. Note to self: you have a lot of slack to make up.).
It is said that for every bit of yin you suffer through, there is an equal and opposite positive force of yang. At the very least, suffering produces a perspective shift, in which NOT suffering is no longer a neutral state, but a positive opportunity. Even in these times, I can feel that positive vibe, reminding me of all my life’s riches. I don’t normally spend enough energy pondering God’s blessings. This experience is an adjustment to that ungrateful state of mind. As I revisit the big questions of life, I come back to a couple simple rules: be grateful, and show it through service to others. I still have a long way to go, but we’re on the right road. :> Peace.